Welcome to theEWpodcast. In today’s episode I speak with Ryan Landis. Ryan is a Community Outreach Specialist for the Big Brothers Big Sisters program in San Diego. In this episode, we discuss the program and share details from our own experiences as Bigs. Ryan shares information on how the program helps both Littles and Bigs, we discuss some of the current needs of the program and provide insight into what it’s like to be involved. This episode was also recorded near the start of the coronavirus lockdown in the US so we touch on how it is affecting matches.
Big Brothers Big Sisters of America: www.bbbs.org/
BBBS San Diego: sdbigs.org/
BBBS San Diego April 29, 2020 Informational Session: sdbigs.com/happyhour
Eric:
So how are you hanging in there right now?
Ryan:
Not too bad. It’s a, it’s a, this is the end of our second full week of remote. So, um, there’s pros and cons, you know? Yeah. Um, but I think it’s fine. Overall we’re still able to do our daily, our daily tasks, which is important, you know, so I’m still reaching out to inquiries and things like that and trying to get people involved. So that’s nice.
Eric:
And your current role is a community outreach specialist. So what does that entail? What’s your day to day?
Ryan:
So for community outreach, um, I’m part of the recruitment team. So what’s really nice about that is that’s where our big need is obviously, is finding bigs. Um, so for big brothers, big sisters, you think there’s bigs and there’s littles, but the uh, um, kind of interesting thing is we don’t advertise or market for littles at all. They just kind of find us naturally. And we still have over 650 kids on our wait list, which is just San Diego, which is a big number. Um, but sometimes people hear that and they think, wow, that’s a lot of people, like a lot of kids waiting. I kind of look at it in a positive way though because, um, it shows that we’re really making a difference because if we’re not even advertising and we’re still getting kids and families signing up, I think that’s a positive thing because they’ve seen it maybe work with a family member or a schoolmate or a friend or just word of mouth. And so they are able to find us. Um, so we don’t have to find the kids they find us, which is really, um, nice. It saves us some time there. So our big focus is that recruitment. So as a community outreach specialist, um, that’s one of my main tasks, um, is to find volunteers. Uh, we do it in a lot of different ways. Um, I sometimes will focus more on male volunteers. We have another, uh, community relations specialist that works with, um, families. So they help enrollments of the kids, um, as well as female inquiries. So it was kind of split between the two of us. But, um, yeah, so I can find volunteers. If they find us naturally online, I’m the first one to call them, email them, uh, talk, talk to them about the process and things like that. And um, and then from there we kind of try to get them into the information session, which I believe you might’ve gone through, right? Yeah. So that same, that info session, we’d get them into those. I conduct those, I run those as well. Um, so those are kind of the two main things. It’s kind of reaching out to those inquiries and conducting those information sessions just so they know kind of what to expect and, uh, and how to move forward.
Eric:
And you’ve been through the program as well. You were a big yourself, correct?
Ryan:
Yeah, yeah. So I was a big, um, I know I’m going to age myself, but uh, like 2008, 2010, I believe I did it for two years and it was amazing. I, I think I always not wanted to volunteer in some way or another. I know that I like working with kids and things like that. So this seemed like a natural fit. Um, my mom was a teacher growing up, so I saw that, that mentorship that she had with kids looking up to her and, and I just to kind of do something, get back. And so I signed up when I was in college, I was working two jobs, a full time student as well, but I still wanted to do it because I had that passion. And um, so I went through that same process, you know, an info session to learn more. The interview, the references, the background check, and it can be a lot, which I’m sure we’ll talk about later, but it’s worth it. And once I was, I was matched. It was a really awesome two years.
Eric:
And you were matched with one one child, correct?
Ryan:
Yeah, yeah. I was matched with one. So, you know, through the process they do that, the matching, they look at all the different criteria on both sides, the big and little and preferences and things like that. And um, I was matched with one child. It was just 10 minutes, mom. So he was lacking that consistent adult male role model in his life. So that’s kinda, that’s a big reason I, over half of our kids come from single parent households. So that was my situation. So to just be able to go in there as a adult, a consistent role model for him, I think meant a lot to him, his mom and I really enjoyed it too because, uh, uh, it just felt rewarding and we’re just hanging out, you know, it wasn’t like it was a lot of pressure to like, I’m going to save this kid or I’m going to tutor him in the end. He has to pass this test or therapy or anything like that. It’s just being there and hanging out with them, which is I think, really nice. So, um, not to put too much pressure on yourself if you are volunteering
Eric:
Do you still have a relationship with him?
Ryan:
It’s in and out. His mom is on LinkedIn still, so this is, you know, 10 over a decade ago really. And so, um, I know he’s in his early twenties now and he had just, he was coaching, um, a minor league hockey team in Phoenix where, where I was matched with them. Um, his mom, um, reaches out to me in LinkedIn and lets me know how he is doing too and stuff like that. So yeah, it was, it was definitely a positive experience and hopefully you got out of it a a lot of hours. But I feel like you did though. We definitely became friends. It was really great.
Eric:
You talked about the process that Bigs had to go through when signing up. Um, what are some of the main things that the program looks for in bigs that they ultimately give the go ahead to?
Ryan:
Yeah, the, uh, the, the process to being, um, matched can be a, there’s multiple steps involved. Not like scary, no one away, but you know, we want to do our due diligence to make sure all these volunteers are ready to go when they are matched with the child. So, um, whether it’s the natural improve that they make online or calling us or emailing us, or maybe we’d be meditate when the event, the first step is that info session. So that’s kind of where we help teach them more about the program, what’s expected of them and the requirements. Um, simple things like, you know, 18 years or older live in San Diego County and I’d be able to commit for one year commitment. That’s a big one. Um, for the bigs, we have that one year commitment kind of set in place because we want to make sure those kids can, can come to them for at least a year. And what’s nice about that is that most, um, the average match length of the, actually two over two years, which is incredible. You know, we say we want 12 months, but it ends up going over 24, 25 months, which is kind of showing how it’s an effective, uh, and positive program for all the parties involved. Um, but yeah, so after the BIS, so we kind of go through the process so it looks, um, not too bad. It really, they fill out the application and, and all that entails, do the quick background check, multiple things that we do there. And then when we do the interview, uh, that’s another important one because we’re going to find out all about that. I’m not sure you can remember yours. You know, we’re going to ask you why do you want to volunteer, what kind of little are you looking for? And then we’ll kind of dive deep into your family work history and things like that because the more we learn about you, the better match we’re going to make. And then once the, uh, interviews done, the references are checked. And then once you’re approved to be a big, we start looking. So we’re going to, you know, say all right, well based on the interview we have the criteria that we’re looking for and let’s try to find the, um, a little for this, for this big,
Eric:
I think it took me maybe three or four months to go through the whole process. Is that a typical timeframe or am I misremembering?
Ryan:
Yeah, actually if I had to kind of guess that seems pretty typical. Um, it just varies so much from person to person. You know, you could have, let’s say for example, I know San Diego has a need for Spanish speaking bakes and maybe the South Bay like Chulavista. So even for male, so if you’re a male Spanish speaker and you live in the South Bay, you can take like two or three weeks. Um, but then there’s certain areas that don’t have as many. So let’s say an example could be like, um, more coastal areas where there’s not as many littles waiting both for male and female. If you’re not a Spanish speaker, it can take more than three or four months. It can take six months, nine months to find you someone. If that was the case, um, we would ask you like, are you willing to wait longer or maybe willing to drive further because we want to get you matched. We want all the volunteers we can wherever you live it, just certain types or certain places and scenarios might make it shorter or longer.
Eric:
You mentioned that you’re not, that there’s no need to do any advertising to find littles, which is pretty cool and interesting thing in itself, but is there any sort of criteria that a family or a little must meet to be a part of the program or is it whoever seeks out the program is likely to get accepted?
Ryan:
No, that’s a great question. You know, it’s, it’s awesome that you brought that up because just like the big scope, we were pretty, you know, detailed process. We kind of go through a very similar thing with the littles and their families. So once they make their original inquiry, you know, we’re going to sit in the interview or sorry, send them the application and tell them, um, kind of what the process looks like and things like that. And hopefully they’ll want to move forward from there. Once all that stuff’s turned in, we’ll just like we interviewed the big interview, the family, um, including the, the parent regarding and the kid themselves separately, um, to see. So one of the most important questions we ask every little face to face is, do you want to be in this program? And if they say no, then that’s it. You know, we don’t move forward. And, um, so they say yes or when they say yes, we’re able to keep going. So that’s when we learned more about them. And so we’re going to ask them about their family history. We’re going to learn it from their mom, dad, or whoever their guardian is. And kind of after that, we have all their information, our enrollment team that kind of work with the matching. They make that ultimate decision and say, you know what, we think that this kid could benefit from a mentor, um, and could see a positive thing come from it. Or they might sometimes say, you know what? This kid’s, you know, has a lot going for them in this situation for this or that. Maybe there’s something else that they could be a part of and then we don’t take them on. But yeah, just same process, you know, interview and then we kind of make that decision based on what we find out.
Eric:
Are there some main factors you can point out as being more critical than others in making that decision? Like is it a looking at their grades or their home life, is there anything that’s weighted more than the other or is it kind of a case by case?
Ryan:
It’s definitely a case by case, but there’s absolutely trends out there that we’re seeing. Um, you, you saw me mentioned or heard me mention the, um, single parent households, that’s a big one, right? Because that’s one less adult mentor in your life. So that’s something that we take into consideration and that’s like 57% of all of our littles. And then there’s, there really are a lot of other things. Um, so some examples of where these kids are coming from and what helps them become a little. And then we kind of accept them as things like having an active duty military parent. You know, growing up in military brat myself, there was a lot of things moved around a lot. My dad was deployed for six months at a time, things like that. Um, so an extra mentor would be great. Their incarcerated parents. Um, so those are three popular examples and then we’ve seen a lot of other things. Um, as far as criteria for the kids. So bullying in school, maybe they’re on the autistic spectrum, ADHD, and then even more deep things like experienced abuse in the past or different things like that that we find out. And you know, we have all these kids that we interview with all these criteria. So I think we’ve kind of looked at them say, well like kid a might have all these things and can be only has these things. So we might prioritize kid aid based on that. So yeah, we look at everything as, as much as we can.
Eric:
One of the things I remember going through whenever I was first signing up and kind of dealing with the unknown of who’s my little going to be and you know, what’s this going to feel like? You mentioned accepting children who are on the autistic spectrum. And that was kind of something in my mind was am I going to have to deal with a child who has some sort of some sort of disability? Um, am I getting myself in over my head? And I think those might be some common concerns that people have when thinking about the program. How do you guys take that kind of stuff into account when making a match?
Ryan:
We definitely take that into account 100%. And you know, we, we definitely go out of our way to make this process, you know, from the first step all the way to the last step of being matched. Uh, we’ve tried to make it easy on the volunteers. So, um, something like that is very important to us. You heard me or heard me mention the interview earlier, talking about why, um, kind of why you want to volunteer, what kind of little you’re looking for it. That’s a perfect place to kind of talk about all the things that you might be comfortable or not comfortable with. And in fact, during the interview, our enrollment team will, will just straight up ask you, you know, they’ll give you a list and say, do you feel comfortable working with kids that come from a, B, C, D, E, F, all these different situations you can answer yes, no problem. You can say yes, maybe with a little training or some more on talk about that or I’m just not comfortable with that. Um, we don’t want a volunteer taking on more than they can handle because like you said, if that’s a fear of yours, it’s going to be a fear of other people. And this volunteership should be a fun experience for them. So we don’t want them to take on a kid that they might not be trained for or have the time or energy to handle. Um, so that’s where we find that out at the interview to kind of learn more about their preferences. And then before we even mass you, you know, once you are ready to be matched and we find someone that we think you’ll be a good, uh, good pair for, we will, um, we’ll talk to you first and just let you know all about them and say, Hey, we found this kid, he’s great because of X, Y, and Z. um, what do you think? And then you give us the go ahead and then we’re able to say it with the kids. They give us the go ahead and we’re able to make that match. So definitely I’m not gonna like surprise you with some kid that might be real traveling or like live 45 minutes away or something like that. You’ll always be in the know, wouldn’t make that match to hopefully give it the best chance of success.
Eric:
Is it a situation where people bigs are in the program longer and kind of develop their skills and then want to move on to maybe more difficult or more, I don’t wanna say difficult, but challenging relationships?
Ryan:
We have a lot of, uh, mentors that have volunteered now for, you know, anywhere from five to eight, 10, 15 years. You know, we’ve been in San Diego for over 50 years and um, so we’ve seen mentors or bigs with more than one little and, and there have been instances where they say, you know what, this kid was great and I loved my experience with him or with her and now I want to move forward and maybe like we can switch it up. Maybe I want to try a new age or I feel comfortable working with a kid from this population now so they can take on those. If you want to say more challenges or just, you know, just mentoring a kid again in general I think is the best part.
Eric:
What are some examples of, um, things that the program suggests bigs and littles do in their time together?
Ryan:
Oh, well, I mean, first and foremost, we’re in San Diego, so there’s tons to do here. I mean, shout out to San Diego. I love the city for shared. Um, a lot of, a lot of people don’t have too much trouble finding things. Depends on where you live and what your personalities likes and dislikes are. You know, basic things like going to the park and stuff like that. Um, are easy. So like as far as the boundaries go, you know, we, we have that, um, two to four times a month for at least a one year that you’re hanging out with the kid, um, for at least two hours each time. So, you know, uh, the first six months there’s no going to the, um, the big or Little’s house to hang out. Um, obviously we’re not going to go out of the city of San Diego and things like that. And then we also want to focus on the a one to one relationships too, just as far as requirements go. Um, and then as far as things to do, um, we have a lot of different references and referrals that we can do, activities that we have planned and things like that. That kind of gives me an idea of what an expected outcome kind of looks like, I think.
Eric:
What were some of the most memorable outings you had with your, your little in Arizona?
Ryan:
I, we, we actually went to the park a lot. He looked by this huge park, um, in Phoenix and we would go to the park and just like kick a ball around or playing the equipment and that was just tons of fun. But one of our favorite things was we would do different, um, activities that big brothers big sisters actually helped for us. They would have these big match outing opportunities and invite all the matches in that area to do so. I remember one time I went to another part for the huge picnic where all the other matches were there. And it was great because our match support specialist was there. We got to kind of hang out with. And then, um, I had a friend that was in the program too and he was their secretary with his little, and so we got like meet up and it was really cool to see like, Oh this is my friend and he’s volunteering to and really awesome to see that. And here in San Diego we do the same thing. We have events throughout the year. We’ll always invite you to, you know, we have tickets to a baseball games, partnerships of like the boxing club or web clinics, um, all kinds of, just different fun things like that as well. So definitely I think those are some of my favorite, cause you could see all the bigs and all of those kind of come together, which is really, really awesome.
Eric:
Yeah, me and my little have been to the um, the ice skating the big night on ice twice. Yeah. He really looks forward to that. That’s a really cool opportunity to just see what all the other big cities in the County are doing and how their relationships are.
Ryan:
Yeah. And to know you’re not alone.
Eric:
Yeah, exactly.
Ryan:
Tons of fun. Ice skating every, every December where we invite all the matches out, free events, you know, tons of giveaways and contests and things like that. And like you said, just to see all these other bigs and littles, um, together, it’s, it’s really heartwarming to, to kind of know that you’re not alone and there’s a lot of people doing the same thing that you’re doing.
Eric:
So the program recommends or requires a minimum one year commitment from the bigs. Um, what are some goals of the pro during that time, during that year? What are some things that, um, the big can try to work towards with their little?
Ryan:
I think that the, all the, um, every match is gonna look a little different. And as far as goals go, it could be something, you know, as simple as just kind of getting the kid to come out of their shell a little bit or talk a little bit more. And some kids are just ready to go and they’re just going to have a great time and things like that. So I think one of the big things that we like to focus on is definitely going to be that consistency and building that trust in a relationship within that first six months to a year. Um, it can take awhile for the kid to warm up and kind of get used to what’s going on, um, up to six months or more for in some situations. So that first year we definitely focus on all right, you know, twice a month, minimum four times if you have the time for at least two hours each time. If you can’t make an outing, you know, communicate, we do a little because if you, you know, you don’t want to hurt their feelings or make them think that they’re not wanted. Um, so yeah, once they kind of see that in the first six months, Hey, this, this big, this guy that’s mentioned mirror girl was mentoring me, wants to be a part of my life and hang out, I think that is really shows them that they can build that trust and depend on that, on that mentor. So that’s definitely a big thing that we look forward to. First year for sure.
Eric:
This is a challenging time right now for maintaining those relationships.We don’t have to go too far into the weeds with this, but what are some recommendations right now? Just even for myself and maintaining my relationship with my little.
Ryan:
Since you know, the, the covid-19 coronavirus kind of changing a lot of things and otherwise right now, nothing that we’ve, we’ve really seen, um, not even our parents really not that we’d been through and it’s 100% effecting our matches because many of them, you know, aren’t able to meet up or it’s not even recommended for them to meet up. So what’s really great is that we’ve seen our team at big brothers, big sisters come together like never before. And every day, I swear there’s like five, six new emails with a list of different things and references and things that bigs can do and little can do. And I’m just ways of, of kind of coping with this kind of craziness that we’re going through right now. We have links for online things that we can do. We actually had our operation bigs program, um, that’s at schools and up in camp Pendleton they had a virtual one where they invited all the bigs, all the littles on, on line. And um, our matched coordinator had different activities planned so they’re, you know, all fit all on the screen and sharing from home and things like that. And they got to like say it, share one thing from their home and like, guess what’s someone’s favorite food is and things like that. Um, I’m sure you’ve seen it a lot of of the uh, um, just coming together online if you haven’t already, you know, it looks like, you know, using zoom and Skype and FaceTime and all these tools that we have are, are important and really helpful. So we are encouraging our, our matches to still call, text, Skype, FaceTime, whatever you can do during these times and get creative with it. Of course if you needed advice or, or tools and resources, you know, our bigs can go to their match support specialists who are always there to support them and they’re going to share those resources that we get, that we’re sharing internally. And I think we’re working on a site that’s going to share all these lists so it can be like, um, different, uh, videos to watch and um, on my webinars and different things like that to kind of cope with that.
Eric:
Yeah. That’s awesome. Yeah, you guys are do seem to be doing a really good job. I got a message from a Sam today with a bunch of resources and things to do.
Ryan:
Yeah, yeah. Invite, invite you a little on to zoom or something. You guys can chat about whatever’s going on and actually be a lot of fun I think.
Eric:
Um, so aside from situations like this, what are some other challenges that, uh, bigs face in their relationships?
Ryan:
I think a big thing, you know, sometimes the expectations bigs put on themselves can kind of be tricky. Uh, something that I’m going to mentor this kid and they’re going to open up and then just do so many positive things, but we forget that they’re just kids. You know, we serve all the way down from age seven to 17, and so if they’re a younger kid, they’re not always going to express those things and it can kind of, um, make the, make the big spill down or, or sad, like they’re not doing anything because the kid’s not explicitly saying, thank you for being my mentor. You’ve, you know, changed my life. Um, even though they don’t always see that you’re making a difference no matter what, um, in the kid’s life, you might see it later down the road. You might not see it until they’re, the match has been close for awhile. But, um, that’s a big challenge I think that they have. Um, and then you mentioned obviously what we’re going through right now. It could be another one as well. I’m sure there’s other things, but anytime you have a challenge, you have your match support specialist to reach out to. They’re always there to kind of help guide you for whatever you might run into.
Eric:
Did you go through that kind of feeling of “I’m gonna do so good at this program, I’m going to make my kid the best kid ever. I’m going to be such a great influence.” Did you have that experience whenever you started?
Ryan:
Oh, I was excited for sure. Yeah. I think it’s very common. One that you see a lot of, um, because you know, you feel good. You’re like, I’m volunteering, this is great. I’m going to help kit change this kid’s life. And then, you know, you go to the park and you chat and it’s fine. And then afterwards you’re like, well, did he enjoy that or is he getting anything out of this? Um, and that’s where that consistency, you know, you build that relationship more and more. And by the time it was, um, later, two years in the, in our match and you know, he was invited me to his like, uh, band performances at school and different things like that. Or he just, um, call to say hi and things like that, which was really cool. And then it’s like, Oh wait, he actually does want to know, like he wants to communicate, get with me, we have this relationship. And so I saw that change from beginning to end and I thought that really helped a lot in, in my case.
Eric:
Yeah, I definitely came in kind of with that mindset of guns blazing about to turn this whole thing upside down, be so awesome at it. And then you start to realize that, you know, yes you are helping, but it’s in such incremental ways, such subtle ways that for my little, um, especially in the last like six months or so, he’s really made some positive changes in his life. Like he’s, you know, doing more exercise with his family seems to be getting more confidence and it’s, I, I would never claim that or want to attribute that to myself, but it’s still, it’s still cool to be here. A part of that, watching it happen, even though you know, it’s a bunch of different things coming together to create that for him and to help him.
Ryan:
I just think of it really simply. It’s if you were a kid and you have an extra adult mentor looking out for you, is that just not going to help you in one way or another? Whether you see it or not, your little has you to look up to and knows that you’re there for them. If anything happens or if they need something and you’ll be there, you know, as long as you can be. And that’s, that’s where it makes that difference. And you know, a lot of our littles go on to do awesome things. We have a lot of littles become bigs or a lot of littles go into nonprofit and things like that because they want to help others just like they were helped. You know, a lot of the times I’m talking to new inquiries, I’ll say, how’d you hear about us? And they’ll say, you know, I had a, a big growing up or I had just had a mentor in general growing up and it meant a lot to me at the time and now I want to give back. And I think that’s a really great thing. And so you as a big, me as a former big, all the bigs make a huge difference for sure in their lives. Whether, you know, we can’t take all the credit for it, but just know that that positive force is going a long ways. Hey, it’s cool to just see it happen, you know, to see where, how far he’s come from day one of our relationship. Um, to now it’s been, it’s been awesome even if I’ve had just the smallest, tiniest little sliver of impact on it. Yeah. Seeing that that growth in the match is awesome. We like to keep track of that as much as we can. You know, we do surveys and things, we talk to the kids in the bigs and the parent and guardian to kind of catch up and see how things are going and kind of take a snapshot. And I know we have some matches that had been together for a long time. There’s one I’m thinking of, they’ve been matched for four years and there’s a before and after picture we have at the office and he’s, you know, the little, it’s just a little guy. And then four years later in high school is like almost as tall as his big. They’ve been masses all time. And I think that seeing those things like physically and they’ve grown closer, it’s just a really awesome, um, inspiring thing.
Eric:
Is there, um, any evidence or, uh, numbers you can share with us that prove the efficacy of the program?
Ryan:
Yes. Yeah. So not to brag about big brothers, big sisters, but I definitely like to, we, you know, we’ve been around for over a hundred years. We’re in all 50 States, 12 countries. So I think that means we’re doing something right. You know, we’re, we’re making that positive impact. Um, so in all this time that we’ve had matches and been pairing up kids with mentors, we’ve done tons of research to see how it is affecting the kids and how it’s affecting everyone. Really. Um, so youth outcome surveys, interviews with the kids and families and things like that during the whole thing are really important. So yeah, some statistics I I’m happy to share, you know, just some general things for littles that have bigs. Um, those littles are going to get along better with their friends and family for sure. Be less likely to skip school and be less likely to start under age drinking as well. As far as, um, some hard statistics go, 84% of liberals that we interview agree that their big top them the importance of helping others. I think that’s a huge number. 84%, you know, and these are the examples, uh, that I mentioned earlier. You know, they were helped as a little and now they want to get back when they’re big or when they come at big or do something else and maybe the nonprofit, um, sec and things like that. Amazing. Um, and then a really great one, one of my favorite ones to share it. So we have, we serve kids ages all the way to 17. So that’s seniors in high school, right? So last year we had 37 seniors that were paired with a big, so it might seem a little whining. I was 16, 17 years old and you still have a big, big brother, big sister mentor, but there’s 37 here in San Diego and all 37 graduated high school. 100%. Right. And going back to what you said that might, we, the bigs might not take all the credit for that, but there’s absolutely gotta be some kind of correlation, right. That, that 100% of them graduated. So, um, some always beneficial. Sometimes you can see it, sometimes you can’t. But I definitely think that, um, no matter what you’re making that positive impact,
Eric:
Do you have any idea what the normal rate of graduation is in San Diego? I’m not expecting you to have that, but…
Ryan:
It’s less. I think it was talked about it. I, if I had to guess it was like, might be in like the below 80%. Um, I could be a little off, but it’s definitely less obviously than 100%. Um, so knowing that like compared to or with or without a mentor or a big brother, big sister, it’s a positive change up towards, yeah.
Eric:
Have you, has there been any um, studies or anything looking at the effect on the bigs?
Ryan:
Yeah, no, absolutely. You know, we, we interview the, um, the bigs just like we interview the littles and their families and everything like that. And I’m sure now you might be able to relate and I could relate after the studies and surveys that we’ve done with the big brothers and big sisters that have volunteered, they reported a lot of positive changes to, um, so some examples could be a feeling of stress management just in general. So, you know, we’re working full time jobs or paying mortgages and bills and, and gas and car insurance and just so many things. Um, we’re working on tight deadlines at work and things like that. Or maybe we’re going to school. So when we have a lot going on as adults, right. Adulting is hard. It’s what they say. So to be able to escape for a couple of hours a couple times a month, um, really helps those, those mentors too. So, you know, community engagement and purpose is another one. And overall better health as a lot of things. Uh, what they reported. So as far as numbers go, 76% of volunteers report feeling physically healthier. That’s awesome. And 78% of auditors report lower stress levels. So, you know, I had a bad week, busy week this of this happened at work or whatever was going on and then I just got to go to the park. We went to the movies and just hung out and had a laugh and it was a lot of fun. So stress management makes you feel good about helping those in need. Um, and for the two years I volunteered, I know that being able to step up and be a positive male role model in my little life definitely made me feel good about what I was doing.
Eric:
And the outings can just be straight fun. We went to, um, boomers, boomers, right? Yeah. And rode some go-carts recently. And I was just having a blast, you know, just cruising around in a go kart, no stress.
Ryan:
No, it shouldn’t be. Yeah, I think it’s going to be stressful or like, Oh my gosh, what, what’s, what are we going to do? How’s it gonna react? But you know, you get into a groove, you find something that you both like and have in common or want to try together and, and absolutely, it should be fun. And most of the times it’s just going to be a blast, you know, different activities. There’s a lot going on. So definitely cool. Things like boomers is a great example for sure. Of course everyone’s gonna enjoy that, right? It’s such a thing.
Eric:
So one of the things that I looked at whenever prepping for this convo was the impact report from 2018 and I’m in it, it shows that uh, 38% of the bigs were female compared to 62% or sorry, 38% was male compared to 62% being female. Um, but the number of male littles or female littles is close, should equal and the number of male little as far as out outnumbers the number of male bigs, how does that affect the program?
Ryan:
That’s something that I think it’s probably Countrywide that we see that trend is definitely is real, is that there’s more little brothers waiting for a big brother than there are the, and that goes hand in hand. We see more little brothers come in through the process and it was still kind of looking at what kind of, why that is or, or what’s going on with that situation. And, but at the same time, we’re also seeing more big sisters come into play to want to volunteer. And we can’t really pinpoint exactly why that’s going on. All we know is that it’s a real thing that we need to focus on. So last we checked, it was about 70% of ours in San Diego are waiting. Littles, um, were boys. Um, so that means that we should be looking for 70% of our volunteers should be males, should be big brothers. So, you know, we have to focus on certain things that we can to try to bring more adult men to be mentors. So we’d have events at, um, breweries and, and sporting and things like take and events like that to try to attract the men to want to volunteer and talk to our big brothers that were, um, willing to share their, their experience and things like that to try to find their friends or coworkers that were also male that wanted to do that. And you know, I’ve been at big brothers big sisters for two years now and we focused on that and we were trying to find men, men, men, right, in certain areas. That was our big thing and worked pretty well. And now we’re kind of seeing that trend, um, almost even out. If I had to guess, it could be closer to like 60% instead of 70% now. So shows or it goes to show that we still ma male, female, whatever it is. But yeah, the trend that we were seeing was that we need more men volunteers, um, more than we needed female volunteers. But no matter what, we just need to volunteers. I mean 650 kids on a wait list.
Eric:
Is it a priority of the program to match a male little with a male big?
Ryan:
We do the male, uh, same sex, um, matching right now we do have um, different, uh, gender matching for our operation bigs program where we can match a big sister with a little brother. Um, and one of our, our little, our big sisters that was mashed a little brother and our operation bigs program got bigger the year for, for that um, program. That operation makes program. It was such an awesome time. You know, the kid, I think it was eight years old or so, and they just hit it off and had a great time too. So there’s definitely, we’re always exploring different things that we can do and offer. And as soon as we’re able to do that, we like to bring it out for sure.
Eric:
So are there any specific areas that big brother San Diego and Southern California need help? You mentioned the trend between males and females seems to be evening out a bit. Um, I’m guessing as you mentioned before, Spanish speakers is a high demand right now.
Ryan:
Yeah. So as far as San Diego County, I’m sure you know, San Diego counties really widespread, um, all the way from Camp Pendleton, Alpine down to OTI, um, and then the coastal areas, so sending the counties huge. And so there are certain areas we looked at, you know, we have all these applications, we have this huge map of the County, um, in our office where we have stickers, so we see the concentration of different, um, areas of where the big need is. And I briefly touched on it like a place like a Pacific beach or coastal area, like Encinitas might not have as many littles waiting. We’re not sure exactly why it may be more affluent neighborhoods or some situation, but then we’ll see places like East County, mid city and South Bay with just tons of littles waiting. Um, so that’s a big need. We’re always looking for volunteers in Chula Vista, El Cajon, and then up North, more coastal like Escondido and San Marcos. Um, as well. You mentioned Spanish speaking a big Spanish culture in San Diego. So if you’re a Spanish speaker, that’s definitely a benefit. There’s a big, big need for Spanish speakers. Interestingly enough, it’s not a, most of the time it’s not for the kid, mostly for the parents, maybe just a pantry Spanish speaking only. Um, but the kids are able to speak English too. So a lot of times they’ll, they’ll put on the application, we’ll say Spanish speaking, they’ll say a little bit. And what does assess their Spanish? They feel comfortable doing that. We’d love to match them with the, with the Spanish speaking parent or guardian. Yeah. So our definitely needs are going to be males, um, in certain areas. Females now of course, and then Spanish speakers and then South Bay and East County. I would say our two, the most important ones right now.
Eric:
And I’m just assuming that the number of um, littles on the waiting list far exceeds the number of bigs?
Ryan:
Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, I feel like the waiting big, so I wish I had a number to give you like how many bigs are ready to be matched because, because there’s so many kids on the list, if you are in an area, say you’re in Chula Vista and you go through the process and are ready to be matched, you’re likely not going to wait long because you know, we’ll probably have some kids picked out for you to choose one and then make that match. They’re still out there because we want to make that perfect match, you know? So it’s definitely a lot lower. I would say. Um, no, I can’t even guess the number actually, but it’s lower than the six 50, of course. Um, because, uh, that, that big number of the kids I think is overwhelming.
Eric:
Yeah. You just mentioned something that I want to touch on again is that, um, it’s more important to you guys to make a good match than to just make a match for the sake of making a match. Correct?
Ryan:
Absolutely. Yeah, I know that’s, that’s huge. I’m glad you brought it back up because, yeah. The way we, we make that match, and you could maybe even speak to this when I’m done kind of what you remember your experience being, but we, it comes back to the interview we interviewed the big, we interviewed the little and their family and their guardian and kind of asked them, you know, what are you looking for? And then once both are through the process, it’s good news. It’s not just saying, all right, well Eric’s ready to be matched. Who’s the next kid on the list? Here you go. Have a good time kind of thing. Right. We’re looking at a lot of criteria. We have an amazing team on for our enrollment team is ladies have been doing this for a long time and are very well trained. They’re awesome and they look at it, they look at all the criteria, they do the interviews and I started looking at, well, if we do have Eric that’s ready to be mashed, and he said he’s looking for maybe a a little this age, maybe he’s willing to drive 1520 minutes one way and he likes this, this or that. Then they’re going to look at that criteria and same thing for the littles. And they’re going to try to find those perfect matches and they’re going to do that and they’re going to call the big and say, Hey, we found someone, you know, it was a little further away. It’s about 22 minutes, one way drive. He’s a year older than you. Look, you know, you can’t be a hundred percent accurate, but we think you guys would be a great pair for these reasons. Why don’t you give us a go ahead. We call the little and their family. Tell them about you. They give us a go ahead and, and that’s it. We make that match. We do the match introduction, which is an amazing time. And what kind of set you off find first out and, and things like that. Um, so a lot goes into it. You’ll always be in the know and we’ll always match you with someone with similar interests and things like that. So I hope that would help a potential bigs feel more comfortable about the process. Um, do you, does that sound kind of familiar? Do you remember how that matching was for you?
Eric:
Yeah, that sounds definitely familiar. I actually turned down the first match that was brought to me because, um, I live downtown San Diego and they lived at downtown San Diego and I enjoy hanging out with my friends going out to the bar and I just didn’t, I didn’t want there to be a potential of seeing my little hanging out on the corner while I’m hanging out with my friends or something. So it was important to me to have to drive to my little. So that was actually the first, um, the first little that was brought to my attention was one that I had to turn down and then waited for another few weeks to get another.
Ryan:
Yeah. And we honor, we honor that. And it makes sense. It’s for good reasons on your end too. And I’m glad that you were still able to be matched for sure. But it definitely goes to show that, you know, we always take the volunteer’s input into account and, and we want to make sure we make that strong match so that they can, uh, have that best chance of lasting it and being an a positive impact on all the parties involved.
Eric:
What happens if a match does not go well? If two people get matched and the bigger, the little just is not into it after a couple of matches. Is that something you honor or do you encourage them to try some new activities and work it out?
Ryan:
Match closer match closures are definitely a thing that happened. Um, thankfully they’re very rare and they could happen for many different reasons. Um, it’s kind of after my, um, after their, they’re through with my steps, so I don’t, I don’t see the full details on what’s happening. But I do know when a match closure happens, um, we’ll be very open and um, talked to and the all parties involved the whole time. So if the mattress isn’t kind of taken off after the first few match match outings, like you said, you know, every match has a match support specialist to kind of help guide them and see like, all right, well this is why the situation’s happening or why it’s not going well. Have we tried this? Have we tried that? And we kind of gauge it. We really talk to them, you know, one-on-one, just with the big or just with the little or just with the parent or guardian and we say, you know, is this match not working because of a reason that we can fix or is it really not fixable? Do we just kind of, um, make the wrong match this time? And if so, we can, we’ll honor that. Like you said, we can close the match prematurely, not something we want to do and not something that we do a lot, but obviously if it needs to be done, we’ll do that. And then if possible, just get back to looking at and try to rematch both the big and the little.
Eric:
Um, another thing I want to touch on touch on as we wrap up here, kind of nearing the end of our hour already.
Ryan:
Yeah, I that was really, Whoa.
Eric:
Um, you mentioned the match support specialists. So this is a person that is assigned to every match and it’s a resource for all Bigs. Can you elaborate on the role of the specialists?
Ryan:
Yeah. You mentioned, you mentioned Sam, right? So that Sam would be your match support specialist. He’s awesome. Funny, funny Chi for sure. He’s a, and M every single match has a match support specialist and it’s a full team. I think there’s anywhere from 15 to 20 full time mass sports specialists on our roster right now at big brothers big sisters. And so they have their case loads and they have their bigs and littles and their parents or guardians. And their main goal is to just to kinda keep track and keep focused on those matches and make sure they’re going well. Um, minimum requirements for the bigs and littles, you know, for the first year. So it was that checking on them, um, checking in with your match support specialist. Once a month and just kinda let us know how things are going. Um, Hey, you know, we, we did this for a match outing. This is going well. I might need some help with that. And once that check is done though, that’s not all they, they’re there for any extra resources you might need. So common things could be, you know, I don’t know what to do with my little this weekend or, you know, my, my little said something to me that I didn’t know how to react to. Um, and so they’ve, they’ve been trained, they know what to kinda offer for guidance or their, their Little’s parents not answering emails or calls or something like that. They’re gonna offer all that advice because again, we don’t want this to be uncomfortable. We don’t want this to be at work for you. So if you have any trouble, go to your match support specialist, they will give you all the attention and advice that you need until you feel comfortable with whatever situation you’re going through. So awesome. Awesome team of match support specialist we have right now too.
Eric:
Yeah, Sam’s been super helpful. Um, it’s nice to have that person there that, um, you can kind of turn to and you never feel alone, but at the same time, it’s not an overbearing presence that’s, you know, demanding things from you and requiring you to do certain things for the program. It’s kind of just a safety net or a
Ryan:
Yeah. Yeah. It’s based on kinda after the once a month, which is really honestly very easy to do though. The once a month check-in, um, everything else is kind of to your own discretion. So maybe you do want to reach out more. Um, and that’s totally fine. Maybe you want to get involved in different ways. Um, they’re going to be able to help with different ideas and things like that for sure. So use them as much as you need to. That’s why they’re there.
Eric:
So to end this, are there any cool success stories? We’ve kind of touched on a few already, so no worries if this, uh, doesn’t have a good answer, but any cool success stories you’d want to share?
Ryan:
We have one big, um, that’s been matched. I think he, he’s been matched three or four times. And his current, um, his last little cause he aged out, I think he’s in his early twenties now, um, was, um, they just hang out now. They, they formed that friendship. It’s really cool. And now our big is able to, um, help us. He wants to, he saw the positive effect and he helps us by donating money for us for quarterly recruitment events. So, you know, he just wanted volunteers and big like 10, 15 years ago. And now over a decade later, he’s still involved. He still talks to his former littles he’s giving back and he’s helping us find these events, which I think is really cool as well. Um, a very similar story to that is we have these videos that I show the info sessions and uh, and one of the videos is that Phil’s barbecue tailgating party that we have every summer and it’s a mess. And they’re talking about they’ve been matched for six or seven years and, and I, and how much they like it. And I really enjoy that story. And I watched the video tons of times, right? Cause I’m doing these over and over for the info sessions. And so I’m at Bill’s last summer and I’m just kind of, I think selling water and I hear these voices and I’m like, Oh, these voices sounded familiar and I look up and it’s them. It’s like, to me it’s like I’m meeting celebrities. I know you guys. And they’re like, what, who are you? I’m like, I do recruitment and like I show you a video like three, four or five times a month. And it’s amazing. And what’s even cooler is that they actually just like the last year they aged out and they just came to Phil’s not as a match but as friends. Um, so they were matched seven, eight years. He turned 18 aged out of the program. But it was such a strong relationship and bond that they had made. They, you know, friends and came to that event and are still hanging out too. And you see those stories a lot, which is really inspiring. I don’t think we’ve talked about it. Gone in depth on aging out. Do you want to just touch on that and elaborate what that means? Right now we serve kids ages seven to 17 you know when they’re getting to turn 18 we’ll start to kind of let them know that the art program ends at that age and you know, I think there’s talk about trying to focus on maybe the new programs where we can offer the mentorships beyond that maybe to 1819 maybe 2122 to keep it going and so definitely still in the early process of that. But if we can offer it that’d be great. Or right now, yeah, we say we serve kids ages seven to 17 and then for a mentor you just have to be 18 years or older. Interesting fact about that. Our oldest big right now. And you want to take a guess? Oldest, oldest, big current right now.
Eric:
I don’t know. I want to go pretty high. Like 78?
Ryan:
Nope, close. 85 years old. Wow. Yeah, 85 I think he’s on his second little and having a great time in our operation based programs. So definitely awesome. Don’t ever let age be a deterrent if you’re worried about that.